A "BF on a DF"??? Terms that one young 'bent gal used –
Left me unsure if she'd found love... or maybe been abused.
Initials are confusing; most poor newbies scratch their heads.
Do trikies ride with XTR? Or use it in their beds?
These little groups of letters are so glibly blurted out
By strange old geeks who could be pervs (in truth I have some doubt).
Do Lusty Whiskered Bentbums ride old RANSes and EZs?
Ell-Dubya-Bee means something else? Oh, Dear; forgive me, please.
You say Ess-Dubya-Bee stands for a 'bent with short wheelbase?
It could be Sadist Wanna-Be. If that's in fact the case,
You folks that ride 'em may seek out new partners when you ride,
To suffer, struggling, holding to your pace until they're fried;
And one might be an MTB (I think that's what you call
A Masochistic Trying Bravely, knobby tires and all).
Who knows what odd initials mean in any technosport?
And how can you be sure some phrase you use won't get a snort?
Cialis and Levitra With some Bourbon? Goodness sake!
Is Cee-Ell-Dubya-Bee the stuff gray bearded bikers take
To boost their lost libido when they've ridden 90 miles?
Or does it mean their tired BikeEs, and hold those smirking smiles?
And hey, while we are on this track, there's one more thing as well
That I would like to straighten out: It's often hard to tell
What simple flags or symbols mean to folks who ride with you;
They pick up subtle secret signs, though you don't have a clue.
Some people that you ride with? Well... it may be for the best
That you don't know the things they do with friends when they're undressed.
I'm sure I've missed some gestures, cues, or winks or hidden code,
As I have blithely smiled and waved at 'fellows' as I rode
Beneath a spinning rainbow in some purple shorts or shirt;
'Did that guy think I might be gay? Or even some odd flirt?'
If so, tough BLEEP! No one asked me if I agreed to cede
My rights to any color groups; I don't and won't... indeed!
I mostly rarely ever put much thought in what I wear.
If things get weird I don't freak out; I simply clear the air.
Plus rainbows rule! Who says real men can't ride beneath Spinsocks
With reds and yellows, blues and greens? I think outside the box.
[And if when reading that last word you wondered what I meant,
I have to tell you, pal: I fear, like me, you're truly 'bent!]
Last updated Feb 15 2005