Krypton, Krypton, glowing dim.
Nasty downhill – hopes are slim
Rocks and potholes you'll survive,
Roaring down at thirty-five,
On this moonless, clouded night,
With your obsolescent light.
Hairpin switchbacks, cracked and rough;
Turns off camber – always tough.
Shoulders littered with debris;
Chunks of asphalt – hard to see.
Bumps and patches jar your teeth;
Pebbles skitter underneath.
Dodge that rock, avoid that pit.
What was that your rear wheel hit?
Both tires slither as you swerve,
Much too fast for this tight curve.
But you make it – once again –
Then you feel it start to rain.
Glasses spattered, you can't see,
Getting much too slipper-EEEEE!
Time to stop this crazy ride;
You may injure more than pride.
One last turn – now sit up straight,
Tap the brakes, then squeeze and wait.
Tires as hard as roller blades,
Chirp – until your front brake fades.
Then the rear one's cable breaks!
Do you have the skill it takes
To control your breakneck pace?
Now your pulse begins to race.
As you struggle with your doubt,
Suddenly your bulb burns out.
Only blackness up ahead –
Terror rages in your head.
Then your fork begins to shake,
Back and forth like some huge snake.
Now your left shoe comes unclipped;
You're aware your front tire slipped,
Past the shoulder, off the crown.
Gravel sprays; you're going down!
Bruising impacts, scraping rash,
Something sharp may leave a gash.
Stones and pebbles tear your hide;
Underneath the rail you slide,
Through the gravel, to the edge
Of a rocky, jagged ledge.
Rolling, clutching like a crab,
But there's nothing you can grab.
First you're flying – like a plane;
Then you're falling – with the rain.
Falling through the dark wet air,
You cry out in deep despair.
As you whimper, moan and quake,
Cold, but soaked with sweat, you wake.
Nightmares, nightmares, lurking deep
In your psyche till you sleep.
If your days' forgotten frights,
Come to haunt you in your nights,
Learn a lesson from this ode:
Never ride Potrero Road!
Last updated Nov 11 2004